The Boy That Dreamed Too Hard and Stayed That Way.

Friday, September 25, 2009

~ my guardian angel told me one day, if you dream too hard, you'll stay that way.  so i did ~

1 hour drive to New Haven, CT. from New London, CT.  2 hour train ride to New York City, NY. from New Haven, CT.  3 hour walk in New York City, NY.  reverse ~ and what happened between it all was pure, nothing but, magic.

So I visited Manhattan today, went by myself, no ipod, no luggage, nothing, just me and a pack of camels.  As I got out of the Grand Central train station, the sights began immediately.  The tall buildings that you would expect, the many people that you would expect, flashing lights, neon lights, hidden star lights.. it was all there and beautiful just like in the movies.  I did not ask for directions, I turned left and knew I was right.  I followed the smell of street food, I followed the flow of the tourist river, I followed my heart.


It was amazing.. sensory overload.  After that wore off in a few minutes, I needed more, so I started to find my way to the square that defined a time in history.  It wasn't hard to find, the louder it got, the closer i got.  the brighter it got, the closer i got.  the closer i got, my smile grew and grew.  billboards EVERYWHERE, M&Ms, McDonalds, Chase Bank, ESPN, UFC, EVERYTHING.. in the heart of it all.  


boom boom.  boom boom.  they came in the veins and left through the arteries.  a land of culture and a land of massive propaganda.  i loved it.  yea, it might be the biggest sellout of a few blocks in the city, but it was the most mesmerizing sellout i've ever witnessed.  of course, that was just another sensation that i got used to, so i walked away, to the limbs of the city that were all so important to its survival.  it was just as glorious as the heart of the city, i saw parks, more taxis, heard more honking and there .. the lightbulb went off again.


i love that place.  from the establishments with hopeful names, like winter theater, or casablance hotel, to the thousands of fans staring up at the galaxy of stars.  this was not a superficial city as everyone says.  this is a city of glory and most of all, this is the city of dreams.  it's been said before, i know, but it takes a 3 hour journey by yourself to truly realize what it means to you.


the couples holding hands, the singles walking alone, the old people walking ever so slowly, the kids running with energy.. these were the people of the world.  this was life.  it would be a constant reminder that you are apart of this greater whole; we all are.  of course, i could remind myself of that by tacking a sticky note to the top left corner of my tv and read it before bed and after waking up night and day, but.. *yawn* boringgggg ~ 


i needed something to show me that i am still young,
i needed something to show me that i am growing old.
i needed something to breath air into my lungs,
i needed something to cure this cold.

And yet, after all the big city dreaming, your image was on the mega-screen in time square.  your face was on every billboard, and i wanted to buy whatever you were selling.  Your smile was resonating in every happy tourist and your sorrow was living in every new yorker.  

dreaming of the city was really about dreaming of you,
and to survive in my world, dreaming is what i must do.

Super-Mega-Side-Note*: I'm walkin down 5th.. and its dark, im not lookin down because all the shiny lights are up so why would i look down.. buuuuut i should have cuz i stepped on something.. something squishy.  and while my foot was still on the something, it bolted out from under my foot.  creeped out already, i look under and back.. i see this giant fuckingggg RAT run and slide into the grate in the sidewalk.  *chills* faq0fjwfw9jf-932j329-j [>_<]Vm 

in other words... please be true. in other words..