Some days, I wake up and don't want to get up and just lay in bed and soak in whatever is in that room at that moment.
Some days, I wake up and want to be unconscious again.
I gotta wake up tomorrow morning right?
What if I didn't? Would I even care?
I don't think these doods know I'm here ... although I am typing quickly and loudly on this keyboard so they must know.
Anyways, they're talking about beer. One guy says this bar downtown has $1 pints of Killian's Red ... the other "beer expert" (guy who says that professional busch drinkers can't drink bud ... wtf? ) proceeds to ask "what is a pint"?
The same guy with the Killian's remark just said "I want to have a Blue Moon" right now. The same "beer expert" goes on to say "never heard of it"...
I don't get these guys.
I won't judge, they must lead pretty meaningful and content lives (meaningful and content to them) and that is better than I have. Congratz guys.
[ When we zoom out and view our world from a grand spectrum, I don't think any of these conversations really matter. In the end, we are nothing but electro signals diffusing into the universe as our bodies feed the still living creatures. Maybe that's just me. As we zoom in to our world, and into the hierarchy of society, things begin to look different. But it is this grand viewpoint of all of the cosmos partnered with some odd urge to have love and be loved.. This is what we ought to live for, don't you think? Enjoy your beer talk experts~ ]
Btw, this same dood just asked if he's had Mickey's ... now THERE's a Malt Licka!!!
Hey,
If heaven is where I want to be, and I want to be here... Is this my heaven? Am I alive? Do I care if I am?
Sincerely,
John
One night...
I want to sit on my bed by the open window in a cramped New York City apartment, smoke my cigarette, and gaze outside. The room would be small and just big enough to move around, but the queen size will always be empty.
Selina would drink from her bowl and hop on top of the queen to take her half. The breeze feels good up here. Not too cold like waiting for the taxi in the winter, or too hot like ... waiting for the taxi in the summer.
Purring.. Inhale.. Exhale.. Tires gliding down the street below.. Random cacophonies here and there.. Purring.. Inhale.. Exhale.. The wind as it flows through the leaves..
Inhale~ the world as I observed it, struggle to stay in the physical realm only to pray for salvation after this life. A little bit of hope as a man takes his $1 to the 7-Eleven and buys the losing lotto. A seductive little smile from the dam to the stranger walking by, as she hold the arm of her man. A little bit of nothing surrounds the man who sits by the dumpster with his beloved companion Sebastian, or so he thought, as Sly steals the bit of bread he had left and slips into the sewer grates.
Exhale~ The bright young minds discussing politics as they stroll into Starbucks passing by husband, wife, and baby Albert, who wears a bib that claims he is a "QT3.1416". Albert stares at the chocolate chip cookie dough cone the little girl in the yellow dress is holding in one hand. Her other hand is clenched tight by her grandmother. The smell of the perfume shop drifts over to the late night bakery.
I went for a walk.
On this bitter cold, feeling old, soul about sold night, I went for a walk.
I come to an opening in the grassy field. It was pure destruction. The very souls of the forest began to flea to escape their damned bodies. Tree trunks became branches became twigs became wood chips... Leaves became grass blades became nature's confetti. The rings of fire around my feet lit up the bits and pieces and they burned and flew away into the air like dying dreams. Everything I saw began to melt into the ground, turning this once peaceful grassy field into a marsh of darkness.
Then... something happened.
I look up to stop the tears from spilling out of my head and there it was. The moon as big as New York City. The moon with more shine than a diamond. The moon that touched me more than you did. I knew of nothing else but to walk towards it. As I got closer and closer, I felt lighter and lighter .. Soon, I was walking on air .. Still, walking, flying towards the moon. I'm so close I can touch it, the yellow moon. I look down at the place I had levitated from and it seemed calm. It seemed peaceful and recovering from the fire and shredding that almost ended its world. Everything is ok now.
I feel the glow of the moon on my face and I reached for the beauty. It was .. perfect. And the longer my hand stayed the dimmer the moon got and even when I took my hand off, the moon got dimmer, until there was nothing left but darkness. I could see my reflection on the surface of the moon and the flames still burning from the world below me.
so I flew away .. I found a place in the middle where I was neither closer to the moon or the grassy field. There .. the moon was brilliant again and the grassy field had sprouted new blades. All I could hear was the wind grazing the few trees still alive and the moon howling back at them in serenade.
This is where I was .. this is where I am .. just.
