Got back last night from U of I, Urbana, another battle. Still learning, which is good. I don't want to ever go to a jam and not walk away with something. Driving back from Illinois, we stop at around 4 am to fill up on gas and get some energy drinks. There, I sat on the bench and gazed at the gas station. Maybe it was late night delirium, but the lights of the gas station was refreshing. It was as if that gas station was the only thing on the planet. Other than the 4 other people I was with, I felt as if everyone I had known was no where to be found (which is literally true at that moment on the road).
It was another moment to contemplate why I danced, why I did anything, but rather than thinking, this time ... I just sat there, soaked in the feeling.
Not too long after I sat down, we were on the road again. Got back to St. Charles and said peace to the homies and left for home. This time, I really was on my own, driving home around sunrise. This time, I must say, is the first time I had actually enjoyed being awake when the sun is coming up. Although I think it was the moon that was there the whole time above me, reminding me that even in the light of day, where everything is drowned in the sun's rays and looking the same that the light of faith can still shine.
The moon was a crisp crescent looking to the right. There were cars on the road, probably on their Sunday morning commute. Although I was tired, I could drive on ... I need to.
On the night before leaving for Urbana, I drove to St. Charles and passed the airport. At this point, I wanted to just go... Just pull in, buy a ticket to god knows where, and just.. Go. In the past, I would never leave where ever I was. Never, but now, maybe it's because I am growing up, maybe it is time for the cub to leave the lioness, but I can't help but feel this way. I love everyone I have every met, and everyone that I am currently spending my life with, but I think I need to move forward.
~ Thanks Jumpin' Jimmy's!
*is a lioness just loneliness without Love?
1 comments:
come to new york!
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