Monday, December 14, 2009
So I sit here, 3 projected hours of learning. "This is how you write your resume"
I wanted to stand out, so good luck to the institution on teaching all of us in this course to be ... different ... together. oxymoron yea?
Anyways, maybe it's the uncomfortable chair, or maybe its the super-duper-over-pronunciation of the instructor. Perhaps, it's simply the fact that the 23 people who are in this room (myself included) are most likely about to be laid-off. These 23 faces, focused on the instructor and the slides, focused as if this was a last salvation. Seldom laughter is perhaps a break from the strain that is between the eyes, the wrinkles from this endeavor.
At first the mood is sad. a depressing, leaving mood. now, as if challenged by some force of nature, a pack of hyenas looking to devour something... me. Although I do not really feel this way, this hostility, but some seem to have it, as shown by their questions, or should I say "attacks". A question with some sort of other purpose + some attitude + some eye rolling + some "im better than you"... I don't enjoy it lol
Now, I can't help but reflect. Why am I not feeling what they, apparently feel... Maybe I just have no roots here, or maybe I am so infatuated with the possibilities of the future that what is really happening is irrelevant! Whatever it is, my natural instincts to fight for survival have not kicked in ... or maybe they have and this is how I handle it?
Who knows. What a depressing room. I don't care how many jokes the instructor makes, they're not really that funny. It's funny how your physical looks inevitably reflect how you feel inside. inevitable. "i see how you feel" amazing ~ 0_o
Get me outta here.
1 comments:
you've already moved on. simple as that. you aren't supposed to feel what they feel when you've accepted the change. you need to be where you're happy. big city. eating twinkies and modeling. being with lindsay lohan or kate hudson or pixie lott. something like that haha...
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